Is It the Will of God?

"There are so many today who are in Bible schools and seminaries who have a wrong motive for going to a Christian school. Many go as a last resort; it is the only place they can go. They think because the dean of the school accepts them, it is the will of God." -Like A Mighty Wind

This passage convicted me. Few months ago, I've applied for Bethel Seminary. When I learned that the application deadline was only two days away or so, I carnally thought that it must be God's leading. And so I completed everything in time and was mightly proud of myself with some compliments in my way. Time is in my hand. I rushed, holding prayer for later. I even ignorantly crossed a line. To me, everything was great!

Not So! After New Student Orientation, I came back home to find myself heavily lying on my bunk bed. Something was pressing me down. I felt choked. I am all toxicity. I had it, so I got up sometime after midnight to grab my basketball's warm-up jacket and pant to go out for a prayerwalk. Afterward I wearingly lied down on the cast away couch in front of my home to reread a passage on my phone device and pray some more. I half-concluded that it wasn't God's will. It was until a sister shared the same heaviness on the heart that I fully concluded.

Out of our sincere thoughts and feelings, we may deceive ourselves. For as the heavens are higher than the earth. So are His thoughts and feelings higher than our thoughts and feelings.

Some of us are called to the Bible school or seminary and some of us are not.