I pondered about when my bad habits had begun. What were the roots of those struggles? When did they began to take an ugly shape?
It all begins way back. When I was an eighth grader, I took the role as an assistant English teacher because I was ahead of all students in mathematics. I had no choice but to attend mainstreaming school for math class with interpreter or to attend high school class for math. I begged for high school. Obviously, I held my head up in pride of my older peers. I was a teenager!
In my attempt to catch up with the challenges I faced, I began to form a bad habit. I worked alone as an assistant teacher and I even got ahead of some high school students that I began to work independently in the high school class. Occassionally I would have a question in my head, but I realized that my teacher is too busy teaching that I cannot get a help. I learned how to push myself futher, I had to depend on myself only. I stressed. I started to pick on my face to get my focus sharp. It worked!
I am an achiever. Everyone around me knew it. I am persistent. I am steadfast.
Of course the ugly truth followed. Scars began to form on my face. The scars of my solo achievements.
It's not about me. It is not about you. But it is all about His kingdom. His kingdom requires every part of us. His kingdom requires us to come together in a pack.
My independent streak, as an achiever, left me with scars or newly reddish spots on my face as a reminder.
Does your independent streak leave you with some scars in your life?
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