Fearless vs Foolishness (to write)

It's amazing how God has given me a vision through someone at National Alpha Breakfast to write a book by challenging me to write one after a good talk about how our testimonies may help the others to grow! In fact, I began a draft outline about what I will write on Dec 11 (by looking at Date the Word was last Modified). I thought that I should be open to anything and try to write one. However, I think that this outline stinks! It's worthless to try to write something related to deaf ministry manual or history! Jesus never talk about any manual! The apostles always shared about the gospels and testimonies, along with signs and wonders to reveal His glory to the lost or to challenge disciples to grow!

Now, where should I begin? At first I felt led to begin with a prayer, which is a cornerstone to our faith! So I began to pray right after I said, "Yes" to write a book, and it is sealed to come. After few days of prayer, I felt led to pray specific prayers. So, I started to think about the plans to inspect and find specific resources I will need to begin. Then I sudden felt the urge to stop praying and buy! Are You sure?... Man! But it seems like He wants me to do so!

On that day, I decided to start looking for new pager, new laptop, and some books to start with. While I am proceeding, I received an email from my mother about one credit card that I shut down few years ago. It came with a bill! Obviously, it was a mistake! This credit card was stolen, so I applied a fraud few years ago and it was approved, but it came back now with many late fees! FYI-Gotta keep your credit card records even thought if you decide to shut down the account! Whoa! Planning to buy those stuff must be a mistake?! NO! I love it when things seem to go downward because when troubles come, it shows that the blessing is on the way (yeah I often think like that way). So, I feel encouraged as I move up.

So am I being a fool to buy those stuff when I am in the red? It's kinda funny how I love living a simple life in the past few years when I am able to buy those things, but now I start to get in the red, and ended up purchasing those! Crazy, uh? But after I upgraded my pager, purchased a Netbook laptop, and few books. I felt the unspeakable joy for few days! Love it!

Things = no joy (emptiness), BUT things + God's given purpose = full of joy!

Before I bought this laptop, I went on the metro to Pentagon City to Best Buy store. While I'm on the metro, I was going through the dark tunnel and I was full of thoughts and a bit of doubts. I upgraded my pager and found out that I can check many emails, blog, surf the internet through the pager, so I began to think about blotting off laptop from the small list. But when I came out of the dark tunnel to see the beauty! Snow icebergs in the river, the bridge, forest on the side of the river, and more! I suddenly forgot about my thoughts and enjoyed the beauty. Oh yeah that's it! That's how I feel when I upgraded my pager, if I felt led to do it, then I shall finish the list! DONE! Ta-Da! It's time for progressing... um... 2010 or 2020 vision? Who knows! KEEP MOVING! Once you are out of the boat, you got to walk on water by faith!