I lay down all my wounded pride
If I let these dreams die
Will I find, that letting go lets me come alive?
So empty my hands
Fill up my heart
Capture my mind with You"
-Empty Hands, Tenth Avenue North
One and half years ago, I dedicated myself to the Lord. I told Him that I will surrender everything, but begged Him to let me keep one thing, my new motorcycle. At that time I haven't gotten a motorcycle license and wasn't able to ride it on the road yet. Before Jan 2009, I have been riding it in the parking lots at Gallaudet. Few months later, I finally rode it on the road, even to my internship site at T.C. Williams High School. I looked cool with my baby. Sometime in the summer time, after riding it on road for few months, I finally told the Lord that I am willingly to dedicate it to the Lord.
It doesn't end here! I faced some trails that summer. My car was totalled and a friend broke her 4 ribs in PA when I was on way to NY for DiamondTriathlon (women only) with 2 friends to cheer for me. My motorcycle key was lost twice, so I had to call for same locksmith twice, costing me $205 + $205. I began to get nervous about my motorcycle. I prayed about giving it up. But the people encouraged me, "Great bike!"
Forward 6 months, I attended Beautiful You conference. Lisa Bevere showed off her 250cc Ninja. Inspired by our likeness, I decided to wear tattooed Harley Davidson long sleeve shirt on the next day. This led me to a divine appointment with 2ndtheif motorcycle ministry at Ebenezers service when they saw me wearing this short as I led ASL worship. I was amazed by how God had blessed me through this bike.
Forward a year, more stories had been added to this bike. I'm much more attached to it than I was 2.5 years ago when I told the Lord, "everything, but this bike". I have been telling Him that giving up this bike is the last thing I would do. But God didn't even tell me to give it up. He encouraged me to keep it through the people around me.
It was until last Saturday that I began to realize that it is time. The insurance bill is absurdly $1,064 a year plus oil change plus more, which is almost equal to the bike itself. It's been itching me. I decided to grab a repellant. And decided that selling it is the right thing to do. I felt the peace. It's too late for me to change my mind. It's like I just decided to do the thing and then I realized that God affirmed it. Clever! Now my "but" is no more. Even my license plate is no more! It was stolen right before I sold it, leaving me with no license plate to cherish. It is all sold and all gone.
It was sold to a decent guy, Burton, last night for the very price I asked although I expected it to go down few hundred bucks. He is 29 years old who took a motorcycle class 10 years ago! Boy, he must have been waiting a long time for this. He wanted 2008 Ninja or this, so specific! I told him a lot about my baby, well who wouldn't? I explained him about the key, the body crack, the gas cap, and etc as if I'm a mother who opens her scrapbook about her baby, entrusting him.
He got the title and everything, but the bike remains for one more day. And tonight it will be long gone. Burton is it's new owner and my new friend. We will keep in touch via email, like an open adoption. It's a new experience!
"Being empty-handed and alone frightens the best of men. It also speaks volumes of just how confident they are that God is with them." -A Tale of Three Kings
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